maybe I'm drunk. or not.

I always told myself that to not feel hurt, don't feel anything at all.
That's why I build a high-concrete-walls around myself.
To protect myself. To protect what lies inside my heart.


But at some point, some people tries to break the walls down.
I let some people do that on purpose, but sometimes I ditched them before they even hit the walls.
And there's also the people, that I let in without him doing anything at all.


When that people starts to messing around, I always go back to the beginning. I kick them out and I build that walls all over again.
Does it take time for me to build the walls all over again? Yes. How much? So much I almost lost my count on it.
I rebuild the walls with the feeling of regret, pain, and mostly tears. Sometimes I add hate, just a little.


But with you, it's all different.
I don't start to rebuild the walls yet, because I hope you'll come back.
I wait for you to come back.
I'll wait.
I don't know how long, but as long as I can endure this feeling, I will.


It's always the same like before. Like when you try to leave the walls for the first time, the second time, the third time. I don't even hate you. Not for a bit, not for a little, not at all.
All I do is just look around the walls that isn't perfect anymore, and search for the trace of you that's still there.


And I guess this time I'm gonna do exactly the same thing. There's still some unfinished business between the two of us.
I'll wait until you come back. Maybe not to stay for a long time, but just to give me a proper goodbye. I know I deserve one.
I'm not gonna rebuild this walls until you come back.




or maybe until someone walks in and helps me to clean the mess that you left behind.


just remember, I'm still right here where you left me yesterday. I'm not going anywhere. Because I don't find the reason yet for me to move on.
please, come back. I miss you.